In the Blue Room

“by emptying people’s minds
and filling their cores,”



In the blue room time stutters.
I sit here on the green and yellow sofa,
holding my hand out to catch the time,
before it slips by.

The rain falls outside,
Reminds of us of the dismal day.
The time stops a second and also listens to the rain,
Ignoring the fact that I am trying to rein it in.

This room is an odd color.
Not a bright blue,
or a dark blue,
rather close the blue of robin’s eggs.

Still, baby blue is too light,
mix one part drizzly day,
and there you have it.

When I sit here in the blue room,
listen to the rain, and watch the flowing
patterns of water that reflect onto the wall,
I feel as if I were underwater.

The blue room is a lonely room.

I am the only one who visits it.
I am the only one who knows of this secret place.

I can feel the time flow over my mind like the rain on the window pane.
Outside the lady bancia feels week under the pressures of the world.
I too feel weak, but I seek my solace and peace in this water-blue secret.

On the window sill, sit the photos of happier times.
The pictures capture moments of glee and gayness,
forever captive beneath the glass frames.
How is it that I can not reach that happiness?

When I look at these frozen memories,
I feel pain.
My own raindrops fall to the ground.
I am the only one who can stand looking at these painful pieces of hope and despair.
My mother, my father, my husband all avoid this room.
Perhaps the preserved happiness is too much to bear.


Down the hall I hear my mother call.
I am not here.
I beg time to stop and hold me its captive too.
But my fickle friend ignores me
I hear the footsteps of my mother come down the hall.

She calls my name.

morning

I woke up from the dream gasping for breath, taking in big gulps of air as if I had never breathed before. I felt the air fill my lungs, my rib cage stretched, my chest muscles aching. I don’t remember what my dream was about, it seemed so clear and vast in while in my presence, but now it was slipping away. No matter. I looked around a little, looking at the light stream through the blinds creating stripes on the wall. Closing my eyes. I take a deep breath filling my lungs. Slowly I let the air out, imagining how my body turns the oxygen into carbon dioxide. Next to me, he slept soundly, not realizing that the world continued with out him.